The entire transaction at Gethsemane is for our benefit. Jesus had a word from His Father – the cross. He was in great distress and pain. When we have a word from God and there is silence, Jesus here lets us know we can be authentic with the Father.

I knew God wanted us in Turlock. In the years of excruciating pain created by a traditional church, God did not explain what was on His heart.

Wednesday,June 12. Early morning, after a time of personal worship, I was overwhelmed with anxiety, dread and fear. My daughter, Madeline, her husband, Mike, and my granddaughter, Amanda are working together to sell their home in Wyoming to move to a smaller place closer to Madeline’s work.  The issue? Mike has become totally disabled and cannot work. Madeline’s and Amanda’s income are inadequate to cover the mortgage.

I sat in church before the service praying and reflecting when the Holy Spirit reveal to me how terrified I can be when I “future-cast.” “The inner child” I identify as a network in my brain created in an unsafe environment as a child catastrophizing the worst scenario when I do “future-cast,” fearful of the “other shoe dropping.”

I have known about this issue for a long time. However, I’ve come to see a revealed truth by the Holy Spirit is more than knowledge; it had become a heart understanding with that knowledge integrated.

“Ought“ and “should“ are not the vocabulary of the Holy Spirit but rather the vernacular of shame. His terminology is Jesus, or truth (revealed reality) bathed in grace regarding the Lordship of Jesus Christ, who we are and the world we live in.

Tuesday, I had only two appointments for prayer. The rest of the day was open, except for a doctor’s appointment later that afternoon.

A working definition of grace: it’s too good to be true…..BUT IT IS!!!! Our God is not only a searching God (1 Ch. 28:9, Ro. 8:27), He is also a finding God.

In the well-known parable of Luke 15, Jesus describes His mission as a shepherd searching and finding a lost sheep, a woman searching and finding a lost coin, and a father searching and finding his lost son.

I was informed by the publishers they would require, the use of a fictitious name as author in the book, The Power of Resurrection Living. Even though all the names in book were changed, they still demanded I use a pseudonym. Tried reasoning. I pouted. During the self-centered, feeling sorry for myself, the Lord let me know very clearly I was rebelling against His will. He reminded me he would get the glory as I embraced obscurity.

“Do you mean?” is one of the most effective tools you can use to communicate and be heard. It’s important you and your partner read this together completely before you consider this process. As only 7% of our communication has to do with the words we use, the other 93% has to do with body language and tone of voice, the purpose of this technique is to enable you to really hear what’s being said.

The man who had been freed from the demons begged to go with him. But Jesus sent him home, saying, “No, go back to your family, and tell them everything God has done for you.” So he went all through the town proclaiming the great things Jesus had done for him. (lk.8:38-39 NLT)

He is not here…”

As I reflected on that short phase, I realized I have had expectations about Jesus and finding He was not there. I’ve often stopped short, because of my own personal need to hear, and heed the rest of the truth,  “He has risen.“ That violated expectation has kept me in bondage from experiencing the depth of God’s love, power and promise.

 I would like to begin with one of the oldest stories many of us are acquainted with: Moses in the wildness of wilderness.

“The great illusion of leadership is to think that a man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.”*

I want to apply the story in a much larger context: everyday life. It is in the wildness of the wilderness the Holy Spirit re-orients us to a new economy of living.

Shame is more than the loss of face or embarrassment. Shame is the inner sense of being completely diminished as a person. Shame is the self—judging of self. A moment of shame may be humiliation so painful or an indignity so profound that one feels one has been robbed of his or her dignity or exposed as basically inadequate, bad, or worthy of rejection. A pervasive sense of shame is the ongoing premise that one is fundamentally bad, inadequate, defective, unworthy, or not fully valid as a human being.

In offering admiration to something or someone outside us, gratitude enables us to interact with something not only larger than ourselves but also profoundly worthy and encouraging. It opens our eyes to the wonder of life, something to admire, delight in, and rejoice in. In this process be open to the vibrant, resurrection life of Christ flowing through us.

To be steadily transformed, to be changed, it is our responsibility to renew our thinking then we will come to know God’s heart.  Dr. Gary Sibcy explains, “Spirituality is not some separate part of our functioning but refers to how well all the different components of our life work in a synchronized and coherent way. It is about how well our thinking, feeling, behaving, relating, communicating, and problem-solving in relationship to others and to God.

Johnnie Erickson Tada, author, singer, artist, radio personality, and advocate for the disabled, when asked in an interview by Dr. Tim Clinton, how she coped with being a quadriplegic “I have come to know HIS presence is enough.”1

In the challenges of life we can live in God’s presence to discover He is setting us free to be the person He created us to be.